Thursday, February 17, 2011

Shimmy Shimmy Ya/Route 1

A year ago me and my friend who is also a producer set out to make a mixtape entitled "Pokemon Meets The Wu-Tang: Enter The 36 Badges" It was to feature all pokemon sampled beats with wu-tang acapellas. Sadly this project was abandoned after both of our computers crashed simultaneously, destroying all the beats we had each made. However there is one lone survivor to this horrendous turn of events. I present to you, Shimmy Shimmy Ya by the Ol Dirty Bastard like you've never heard before.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Bum Etiquette

So we all have experienced those times of no money and being flat broke. Some times it wares on your confidence and you feel like you can't get women and can't party without a job and a fat wad of dough. I am an experienced bum and I intend to teach you how to roll with people with money when you have none of your own.

1. Always bring the party
If you're going to be a bum who is constantly tapping into your group's resources you better prove your worth. Nobody wants to smoke a guy out if all he's going to do is sit there and stare at the tv. Do your best to entertain whoever is helping you out with a free smoke/drinks/etc. If you bummed a ride to the party introduce the driver to the people you know there. If people can use you for social leverage they won't mind providing you with party materials.

2. Bumming with respect
Not everybody takes kindly to bums. It is very easy to look like a scum bag if you don't have proper etiquette. Only bum a cigarette if the person is already smoking. Act gracious if they do bum you a cigarette. Talk to them while you smoke and be entertaining. Also switch up who you bum from if you can. If someone says no that's the end of discussion do not pester them further, maybe even wait a few days before you try to bum again.

3. Hook people up in anyway that you can
If you are a bum or soon to become bum the hook up system is going to be your best friend. Since you have no money it is wise to network as much as you can and find parties. Hook people up with parties when they let you bum all the time. Introduce them to girls, show them you're a worthy bum to support.

(I'm considering making a more detailed version of this later on let me know what you think)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Crappy Weekend

So I'm not sure if I disclosed this information yet but I am a college student. I live about 4 and a half hours away from home, just far enough that nobody else here lives close and my parents can't pick me up.

As such I regularly take the bus home on holidays. Last weekend we had off for Lincoln's B-day. I went out to the bus stop, being a broke college student I had three huge bags of laundry, and watched in horror as the bus driver looked me in the eyes and took off about twenty feet in front of me.

So I walk back to my dorm room coming to terms with the fact that I'm going to have to wait another month and a half to see my family again, always fun. I meet up with the three other guys on my floor who are not going home and we decided to drink and make the best of this unfortunate circumstance.

My one buddy decided it was great idea to get belligerently drunk before we headed out to party and ended up spilling a full glass of wine on my laptop. So now I'm out $50 for the bus ride, and I am computerless for the rest of the year.

On the bright side I got a few numbers from some girls we were partying with and without my computer I'll probably actually start doing my homework more.

Hope you all had a good weekend and continue to read and support my excuse for a part time job.


Monday, February 7, 2011

Songs I never get tired of

I was having a conversation with my buddy about music and we got to talking about those songs. You know the type, a song that came into your life at the perfect moment and got perfectly cemented into your psyche. The types of songs you have been listening to for years and will continue to come back to time and time again. I have too many of these to list them all but here are the first three that come to mind.

1. Faust - "Jennifer"
I found this song in high school when I first started smoking, it was playing in the background of a documentary on opium use and I loved it so much I had to dig through the comments on youtube to find the song name. I downloaded the album this song is on and honestly it sucks but for whatever reason they made a solid gold track here that is perfect for relaxing me after a long day.

2. Wu-Tang Clan - "Protect Ya Neck"
After seeing them on the Dave Chappelle and remembering having played the video game they released as a kid I was intrigued enough to buy their greatest hits album from Target. What happened that day was the start of the rest of the life. I was the biggest Wu-Tang fan this side of the Mississippi. In my honest opinion this song is perfect, it almost hurts listening to it because I know I will never hear a rap to top this one. Every member of the Wu came out and represented their personas perfectly. If you've been meaning to give them a try definitely listen to this song first.

3. System Of A Down - "Chop Suey"
The second biggest obsession I ever had with an album was Toxicity by these guys. I am not a big fan of metal and it hardly does this band justice to call them metal. If this was a list of albums I would put the whole album I pick this song because it was the first song I heard before I bought the album so it sticks out to me the most. But srsly, I'm sure you've listened to these guys and if you haven't I have no idea what you're doing with your life.

What's a song you'll never stop listening to?

Saturday, February 5, 2011

My Top 3 Unintentionally Funny Fights

Yeah so I'm one of those weirdos who looks up fight videos on youtube. I have seen pretty much everything youtube has to offer me; geezer fights, bum fights, kid fights, you name it. But every so often I come across a fight video that tickles my funny bone. This a compact list of the three funniest fight videos I have ever personally watched. Enjoy!


Crack head Boo Boo confronts  two alcoholics who are housing his crack addicted prostitute girlfriend. Hilarity ensues.

2."I lost my balance nigga!"

Young suburban thug delivers some street justice to a punk who stole his bong.

3. "I'm pressin charges! I'm pressin charges! Where my do rag at!? I'm pressin charges!"

Idk what this girl is on but she flips out on an old lady and starts singing souljaboy

Thursday, February 3, 2011

3 Quick Reasons why cigarettes and fast food are alike

While day dreaming in one of my classes today I had a strange question on my mind. How will (what's now considered to be) the present be viewed by future generations?

I day dream this scenario often and one conclusion I have come to a few times is the similarities between junk food now and cigarettes in the 1920's.

1.Both have been marketed to children
Really? Is Joe Camel that much worse than Ronald McDonald? He sells unhealthy products by making them look cool and appealing. Kind of like how Ronald McDonald riles up all the children to eat 40% beef burgers with the promise of a toy at the bottom of every grease sludged box.

 2. Both sell "Healthy Versions" of their unhealthy products
What would a dangerous product be without a seemingly safe alternative version of it? Every soda has a diet version or some kind of splenda-fake-sugar rip off (even though they are still bad for you in other ways) How do I see it? It doesn't matter if you have low fat version or some kind of less calorie scam on your menu, to me it's the same difference between Marlboro lites and Marlboro reds.

3. Everyone knows the products are bad but they continue to buy them

Ah yes, probably our most fatal flaw as humans is that if we like something it doesn't matter whether it's made out of rat poison, dog shit, or preservatives. If that product satisfies my indulgence enough then fuck it, I'm gonna eat it...or smoke it.

I may add more to this, for now it's just a test to see what kind of responses I get

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

New Releases: Wu-Tang (Enter The Dubstep)

This album is good for people who want to hear a new spin on the dubstep genre and for hardcore wu-heads like myself. Nearly every track is produced by a different DJ, most pretty big in the genre already (including Datsik and Excision) I wouldn't say this album is mind blowingly dirty but it is definitely a breath of fresh air in the sometimes repetitive world of dubstep.


Digging In The Crates: Mahavishnu Orchestra

Found these guys while digging through my Dad's old record collection. I eagerly through this on the turntable expecting some crazy Indian music with sitars and crazy vocals, I don't even really know how to describe what I actually got. I would play one side and it was a guy soloing on some kind of stringed instrument I couldn't even identify, the other side had a smooth drum rhythm and funk inspired keyboards. I would recommend this to anybody who likes Frank Zappa's style of instrumentation, or to anybody interested in 70's experimental music.